Hard to believe I made this image 17 years ago, on a morning walk at Kill Devil Hills. I think it was during a family outing week & beach house rental. Today, I’m pretty much like the Stilt, exploring the surf line at sunrise, solo. At peace.
Email today included an invitation to watch “Raising Lady Liberty”, courtesy of my monthly PBS contribution. And I did. My photograph of this 1/16th scale version, in the Musée d’Orsay by the Sculptor Auguste Bartholdi, is the closest I’ve been to New York Harbor, where 12 to 14 million immigrants saw it, between 1892 and 1920. My maternal Grand Parents were among them. This grandson and their great grandsons swore oaths to preserve liberty and served in both cold and hot wars, to protect that idea. Some privileged, didn’t serve. They lately declare themselves, superior to exiles. That is, Un-American.
“Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” Emma Lazarus, November 2, 1883
My latest rejects from a local Juried Photography Print Competition. So a la Salon des Refusés, here are my rejects. ( All 3 are back on my apt. dining room wall. Made solely for my Muse.)
“Paris Perfect“
“Looks Fishy“
“Impression , Maison Monet”
Some folks might think being a Septuagenarian is a life of idleness and ease. Au contraire! Busy Bee! Today for example:
a. Entered 3 printed & framed photographs to the Cary Photographic Artists Open Juried Exhibit. I’ll post them in a “Salon des Refuses” after juror rejection.
b. Cancelled a Blue Cross Blue Shield High Deductible Medicare Supplement that I’ve had forever and wasn’t paying attention to. I was their cash cow. Especially with the latest 33% rate increase. The vendor website is a Byzantine maze that Magellan couldn’t navigate. I finally surrendered to an actual live person chat to get it done.
c. Changed my long held Part D Medicare Drug Plan. The $32 per month 2026 rate was increasing to $51 for 2027. Changed to a $12 per month Plan that covers all my Tier 1 Med’s. The vendor website menus are another Gordian Knot to solve.
d. Got out a step stool and extended handle pruners to groom my Viburnum before the apt. complex landscape crew butchers it on “Mower & Blower Tuesdays”
e. Harvested a LOT of Basil from my kind upstairs neighbor’s garden. Tomorrow will be a pesto production afternoon! It freezes!
Next up, laundry! Argh!
The 1875 Paris Opera House (aka Palais Garnier) is facing potential legal action by a descendant of the artist Jules-Eugène Lenepveu, painter of the original ceiling. In 1964, it was covered over by canvasses painted by Marc Chagall, seen in my first photograph below. The Chagall canvasses can be removed and re-installed while the Lenepveu painting was done directly on the copper plates of the dome. My late sweetheart and I made our third Paris visit in 2016, giving me the opportunity to make this gallery. 2017 found us back in Paris, this time with good loge seats for the 50th Anniversary of the Balanchine Ballet “Jewels”, directly across from the “Phantoms Loge” (Image 7). Heads up, the Palais Garnier is closing for renovation, 2027 to 2032. Read about it here: Chagall or Lenepveu or both? Click each image for full size.
I made this image of Tiananmen Square just before the 2008 Summer Olympics. My last business trip to Beijing. This morning, a New York Times article describes how difficult it’s become for foreigners to visit the Square. Beyond the swarms of surveillance devices that make our Flock cameras look rare.
I do remember waiting in a tunnel access & security line to enter. Passports were checked and my camera bag was hand searched by Police. While I liked my Chinese co-workers, I hated the 14 hour flights & smog. Loved the air miles.
Great Hall Of The People – Tiananmen Square – 2008
This magazine article from 2017, my first published photographs (including a contract with a hair and makeup budget) was genuinely, a labor of love.
This CD did survive my widower down sizing. And I do love Paris. Because as Etta James sang, “my love is there”. And why I’ll never return – too hard on the heart. Empty without her.
We did stroll down Champs-Élysées. Dinner at Ladurée. Vacation apartment on Rue Ferdinand Duval in Le Marais. Grocery shopping at the Bastille Market & local MonoPrix. Sunday in the park at Place des Vosges. A Balanchine Ballet at the Palais Garnier in a box opposite “The Phantom’s”. Days wandering Musée d’Orsay. I felt, as Joni sang, “unfettered and alive”. It felt like home.
My other recent eBay purchase arrived today. Yep, stuck in the 70’s. Her music is still, extraordinary.
This CD arrived today, in time for a very welcome, open screen afternoon. It’s been a too long, too hot, summer. Recently, a middle of the night half-dream, a fragment of her poetry set to music, surfaced from memory. And persisted. And I found I’d been too zealous in downsizing. Bought a replacement copy on eBay. Listening now, 57 years after it’s release, I’m vividly reminded of just how good this was. And is. There is one more, must have CD on the way. “Aging Children, I Am One”.
Made this image in April of 2009, opposite Pea Island Visitor Center. That little ribbon of road on the far right is NC 12, a highly dynamic roadway. Got washed out again this morning by a Nor’easter. Not as bad as Hurricane Irene in 2012 but the road has parts, missing. It’s why I live far, inland. Sailors know.
Below: After Hurricane Irene 2012
Below: Today, 24 September 2026
There are apartments behind, beside and above me. All are quiet now. I’ve learned which awake at 0530, 0630 and 0730. A robust shower singer lives behind me. Later, footsteps on stairs, car door key fobs and engine noises announce the work day. My day begins with coffee and a croissant and wonderfully, no schedule. Then to the luxury of writing books. I am content, without a bucket list or complaint – “no would of, could of, should of” regret. Me and my Sweetheart Boss Lady didn’t wait for retirement – we went when we could. And spent hours on perfect Fall afternoons, vieux amants, at bistros in Paris. A widower now, it sustains me.
Place du Marché Sainte-Catherine, Le Marais
It’s unavoidable – I need an hour & coffee to come back to life in the (late) morning. I find the news no surprise and the politics ridiculous – just put a a big, striped tent over D.C., bring in the Circus Train and Peanut Vendors!
Later in the day, been slogging through a desktop publishing learning curve that’s nearly vertical!. Discovered that the issue with rough check print proofs from my utility printer was due to a clogged Yellow nozzle – read the frigging manual, dummy! Performed the mfr. recommended maintenance. Progress!
Fortunately, affordable Bourbon & Beer. Dinner at 8. Wine & Chocolate follow!
Had lunch today with dear friends, ladies associated with Cary Ballet, my artistic home from 2010 to 2022. Told them a bit about this.
Writing a book about it. Metadata shows I uploaded this image to this blog media library on 13 Dec. 2012 – after midnight of the day I made it.
That was when I realized how much I didn’t know about light – deflating for a photographer! And realized, she was, my Muse. The book is in a very nascent stage. I do have a domain parked for it – “The Muse Provides”. Stay tuned!
Me, after 3 full afternoons of self teaching open source software LibreOffice (Open Office support stopped years ago) and Scribus. I’m too cheap to use MS Word or InDesign and I don’t want to be locked into Blurb. I’ve no need for Ingram Sparks. No more LLC, Biz Bank account, Sales or Income Tax Returns – ain’t looking for money or Barnes & Nobles sales. And want nothing to do with anything even remotely related to Jeff Bezos. So maybe a few family gifts and a vanity ISBN number or two!
No day of the next 7 has a “9” as the left most temperature digit! Cooling rain on the way tonight! First open screen afternoon in six weeks!
Raleigh 7 Day Forecast
Me, discovering that to write and publish some books I have in mind, stuff I may need to learn: Atticus, BookWright, LibreOffice. Maybe InDesign!
Working on a book today, having time to think about and savor the good fortune I had and my very favorite folks to work with as a photographer.
Click images for full size
Halfway done reading reading “George Hurrells Hollywood” by Mark Viera. My lighting epiphany from “The Muse” led me to the work of George Hurrell. And within a year, I had found Mole-Richardson Tungsten Fresnel Lights on eBay. Made this in August of 2014.
Senior Portrait Session at Cary Ballet Conservatory – August 2014
Studio Setup Below
A rare Roku streaming evening from PBS tonight, watched a 40 year old documentary, benefit of my modest monthly contribution. And I thought about my maternal Grand Parents who saw her on their way to Ellis Island. And it triggered thoughts of the sonnet by Emma Lazurus inscribed in it’s New York harbor pedestal:
“Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
I wish it were still so. And am ashamed of our nations current immigration policy. My hunch is, our nation will course correct next November. We are still free to do so. Liberty.
1/16th scale version by Auguste Bartholdi at Musée d’Orsay- Sept 2016
She showed up today, to shake me out of my summer ennui. Finished a project I started last Spring, for a Dancer I’ve photographed and admired for a decade. And she helped me anew, re-start the draft of a book (s). And hiding out in the A/C from this ugly summer heat and humidity, even motivated me to get back to my Rowing Machine. Back in the groove!
Getting ready to be, in my mind, old. And relieved. My plan for time left.
Photograph For Cary Citizen – 2018 “Lazy Daze”
On a mercifully cooler late July day in North Carolina, after shopping for requirements and returning a call to a Cary Detective who left a card in my door looking for not me ( wrong apt), Bourbon and Beer. Before an easy, post “Happy Hour(s)” Pizza to the oven. Listening, as a devout ex-Catholic, to gorgeous music on WCPE, written by St. Francis of Assisi in 1224. Art is art. And yeah, the Little Sisters of The Poor, standing silently at the exit of Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris (before the fire), got every Euro coin in my pocket. They do good.
Driving through and listening today to storms that build from summer heat. This from 2009. Had taught myself Manual Exposure (it isn’t rocket surgery). Started carrying a camera to work. This is an afternoon inbound flight to RDU, seen from from the Lenovo Parking Lot in Perimeter Park. About 8 months before I was finally unable to bridge the cultural gap between mainland Chinese managers and Moi. 2,000 years of Chinese Civil Service history and an ex-U.S.N. Submariner simply couldn’t c0-exist – at all.
This 16 year old image visited me today, about sun rise. Sleep has been elusive. And I finally slept, all through the day. There may be room in my “Permanent Gallery”.
“Far from the madding crowd’s ignoble strife” – Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard By Thomas Gray 1751
Hatteras Sunrise – Outer Banks, North Carolina
Making Art is hard. Recorded this image in April of 2012. Finally figured out how to “see” it, last week. FedEx delivered today from my printer. The last of my “Permanent Gallery” aka my apt living room walls. Not what the camera saw, what I saw. Yes, photographers can be artists. I am one.
Sunflowers are in bloom at Dix Park, Raleigh. Long ago, saw these on Saturday shopping & made this photograph. Echos of Van Gogh. And a sunny Boss Lady.
Raleigh State Farmers Market – August 2014
Made this photograph 4 July’s ago, the summer before I retired. In a building that is now a bank and a lifetime past for a very young dancer. Peeking at the school’s Facebook page, I learned she was recently awarded a scholarship but they had no photograph. She was, the second time “The Muse” appeared to me. And you just know, you know?
Cary Ballet Conservatory Summer Intensive – July 2022
Residual to my IBM PC Company/Lenovo 11 or so years as an I/T Architect (hired as an “Experienced Professional” sans Degree), I still have a Google Voice DiD Telephone Number and IMAP e-mail accounts that I access via “Thunderbird”.
The Google Voice number became my “Brooke Meyer Photography” business number with a PolyCom handset on my desk attached to an Ethernet Switch attached to my router. Also, setup for “distinct ring” as a second line on home phone OOMA network. And of course, support went away for the Polycom. As did Google’s forwarding of SMS texts to another DiD. But that’s not what this is about.
Musée d’Orsay 2016
Google did preserve the forwarding of Voice Call Notification and Text Messages to my Gmail account! I detest “SmartPhone” itty-bitty screens and soft key boards (Ancient Flatulent aka Old Fart). My daily driver is a lightweight, $149 Chromebook with 15″ screen, full keyboard and all day battery life, I get SMS Texts to my e-Mail. And can respond, from the Gmail app! Tres convenient!
Text today from my recently moved adoptive granddaughter/dog rescuer/soprano/teacher/recipe sharer who is visiting NYC this week. From MoMA. A photograph made with her, what else, phone. And I responded with my version from Paris in 2016 and explained the Degas wax original is in the National Gallery of Art in D.C.. The young lady visiting New York renews my hope in humanity.
Started a book a year ago. And then, procrastinated. Today, the literary dam finally broke and I was submerged in the torrents of “Atticus”, “Bookwright”, DocX and PDFs. Too hot to go outside, so format and write, I will. “Maybe”, as Shirley Horn sang, “September”.
Waterfall, Bute Inlet B.C. – Aboard M.V. Aurora Explorer – 3 Sept 2009
The Viburnum by my apt. window is reaching full bloom. I trim it by hand, protected from the weekly “Landscaping Crew” and their “Two-Cycle Symphony”. Its density provides nesting for Chipping Sparrows and shade relief for Rabbits. Bees discovered it week ago. Today, hiding out “a la Paris”, from heat & humidity due to an errant Jet Stream, while enjoying a libation, had a visitor, an Eastern Tiger Swallowtail. Feeding, “She” (Blue Spots on Tail) , allowed me time to fetch a camera and my favorite portrait lens.
Shocked by the news today! My memory of Paris in mid September through October is wonderful! Open the windows! And the beginning of the Paris Opera Season! Ballet! This is from our 4th floor apt. (they start at 0 which explained the 52, 300 year old oak steps) on Rue Ferdinand Duval in the Marais.
Seeing the news today, while in the comfort of my apt., in Caroline du Nord, where air conditioning is a given and rare in Paris – how awful with no relief for Le Parisien. Tar Heels know! We’d be nude! Okay, maybe that would work 😉
Working on a retrospective for a dancer, digging through a decade of programs, the light bulb went on!
These two images are 20 x 16 full bleed prints, Fuji Deep Matte Paper on Standout Mounts in Nielsen Float Frames hanging in my apt. living room gallery.
October 2010 at Cary Ballet Conservatory and December 2010 at Meredith College, Jones Auditorium. Finally realized the two young dancers and friends in the middle of the first image are the same two on the right of the second image. Vitamins for an old, world weary heart. The best of us.
My previous post was written with the idea of “Ruminant” as “chewing cud” or mulling something over. Had no idea I was, AI wrong: “Rumination is the act of endlessly replaying or dwelling on negative thoughts without reaching a resolution
Nah. It’s thinking – which AI never does. Wonder how it defines “mull”? Or ponder? Or Wish List?
It is a great luxury to be disassociated from modern manic madness: Amazon, Anthropic, Apple, Cable TV, Chat GPT, Door Dash, Facebook, Google Gemini, Instacart, Instagram, LinkedIn, Lyft, Meta, Open AI, SpaceX, Tik Tok, Uber (weekly phishing scams) and WhatsApp – nah.
My “I’ve had it with I/T” post IBM PC-Lenovo merger decision to take early Social Security has now achieved financial parity vs waiting for “full retirement age”. And gave me and my sweet heart most of a decade we wouldn’t have had together. And Paris.
Mac aka Melanchetes “MacGyver” AKC CGC
Got a roof, rack, good chow and peace. No dental or medical or money issues. Full frig, freezer and pantry. Balanced meal plans (old guys can cook). Pile of TBR (To Be Read) books, good music, an I/T Pro’s low cost, robust Internet connection. A book to write and 12 years of photographs to curate without the time pressure of commerce. Mac knew.
Hiding out from record heat, needing no supplies and zero commitments, allows time for the Muse. This is in transit from my favorite Used Bookstore. Discovered his work in 2012. That summer, was an epiphany. This explained it- Kodak Essential Reference Guide for Filmmakers – Pages 135 to 140 – epiphany. And realized why I was home in the theater.
Cary Ballet Company Rehearsal, Cary Arts Center – 12 December 2012
My Weekend Plan
My apartment is on a East to West axis. Late afternoon sun back lights clouds on an azure sky. I never planned to make a photograph of cirrus clouds like I see today, but I did. On a country road in Belleau, France. For “Teufel Hunden”.
4,000 miles east of this beach is Normandy, France. 82 years ago, it bled.
A perfect open window last day of May and nightfall after a good supper brought a Fire Fly, flashing on my apartment patio. Wasn’t one of these!
Cary Ballet Conservatory “Rhythms of The Rain Forest” – 2 June 2012
Late 2021, the world was emerging from Covid. A new Widower, I hid out in work – like the fictional Quasimodo. It was good heart medication.
Cary Ballet Professional Training Program- Dec. 2021 Theater Preview
This Memorial Day weekend, through no plan at all, I read “D-Day” by Stephen Ambrose and “The Longest Day” by Cornelius Ryan. Without distraction, but for food and sleep. And thought about, memorials, I’ve visited. And my luck.
WWI: Aisne-Marne American Cemetery, Belleau, France
WWII: USS Yorktown CV-10, Charleston, South Carolina
(Renamed before launch to replace USS Yorktown CV-5 sunk at Midway)
WWII: Detail of WWII Memorial, Washington, D.C.
Vietnam War: “Three Soldiers” Washington, D.C.
“I mis-remembered the Island name. While waiting for my “Brand New” 2005 Silverado W/T to be serviced today, I remembered!
For no reason whatsoever, I was thinking about, long ago, stopping at a roadside stand for Boiled Peanuts on a two lane blacktop to Johns Island from Charleston.
Angel Oak – Dec. 2017
And a Paris Restaurant, on a side street, discovered while walking back from shopping at Marche Bastille.
Marche Bastille – Sept. 2017
Found the Boiled Peanuts last weekend at the Raleigh State Farmers Market (Not these Strawberries from May 0f 2014).
And maybe, I’ll find an excuse for dinner at a proper French Restaurant, in my Tar Heel home.
From Tour Montparnasse
For no reason whatsoever, I was thinking about, long ago, stopping at a roadside stand for Boiled Peanuts on a two lane blacktop to James Island from Charleston and a Paris Restaurant, on a side street, discovered while walking back from shopping at Marche Bastille. Found the Boiled Peanuts last weekend at the Raleigh State Farmers Market . And maybe, I’ll find an excuse for dinner at a proper French Restaurant, in my Tar Heel home.
The Blackball Car Ferry from Victoria Harbor, B.C. to Port Angeles, Washington lands you close to this National Park – which my Boss Lady knew about and I had no idea. She guided me in Seattle & Hawaii. Yes, back in 2009, at sea!
Hurricane Ridge, Olympic National Park, Washington -16 May 2008
Made this photograph long ago (27 Dec. 2010). Had just found my footing as a photographer. This corner at Academy & Chatham Streets is being converted from an automobile gas station & repair shop to a restaurant.
Catty-corner at the intersection, Ashworth’s Drug Store is being converted to the Once in a Blue Moon Bakery & Cafe.
The Town of Cary was my landing place in late 1998. New job, new house, fresh start. Today, I don’t need a GPS to get around. And just down the street from the above photography is La Farm Bakery, where I buy my daily bread – weekly! The only constant, is change. Yet, it still feels, like home.
Had one image accepted in the CPA 6th Annual “Digital” Juried Exhibition.
Kūhiō Beach Hula Mound , Waikīkī
Reading this today, I was surprised that young men could be so stupid. Ok, not really surprised, I’m an old man: Women Home Buyers & Men Dating.
Long ago, a 21 year marriage blew up and I lucked out, finding a woman who’d made a similar poor decision. We shared her apartment until we decided we could afford a house. I presented a stack of cancelled checks, my half of rent & utilities, written to my late Sweetheart, to the Mortgage Loan Officer handling our application, as proof of her income. I was “Miscellaneous Income, Other”. It made the numbers work for the bank and we became homeowners – unmarried and living in Sin. We did Marry and I bought the next house with a VA Loan Guarantee and my first pay stub from my new job at the IBM PC Company. The proceeds from selling our first house together improved the lives of a combined five children plus some grand kids.
Marché Bastille, Paris
She was way better with budget than me. I was good for fixing stuff, gutting & renovating kitchens and lifting heavy stuff. The Italian Julia Child , spoiled me rotten. And we both thrived in Paris. Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien. It’s okay to have a Boss Lady. Tarzan knew!
As reported here before, I discovered that I’d never edited the rough photography gallery made at the 2018 Cary Ballet Conservatory 6 PM Sunday performance of the “Nutcracker”. Literally, unseen. My discovery was prompted when the wonderful Dancer and Actor who has performed as “Herr Drosselmeyer” in the Cary Ballet Company productions of the “The Nutcracker”, asked for some photographs. To show some folks who had never seen it. Retired as I am, I set off into archive land, thinking I could give him a well deserved chronology and evidence of his artistry, from my work of 2011 to 2021, in an afternoon or two. Not even close.
So here it is, finally! – The Lost Gallery: 6 PM Sunday, 2018 “Nutcracker”
It was a bit of photographic special. The last of a long week, had everything, let’s take some chances! Added a 1.5x Tele Convertor to my tripod mounted 100-300 F4 Zoom. So I was at 150 mm to 450 mm focal length – capable of making head shots from rear of theater. But high risk, including the loss of an aperture stop and narrower Depth of Field -lots of soft and out of focus images. Still had my 50-135 mm on the other body. 20% kept.
Almost finished printing & framing my living room gallery. Ordered this version from my printer today – 20″ x 16″, Fuji Deep Matte Paper on Standout Mount. Destined for one of the Neilsen 13 Float Frames I have on hand. I was never satisfied with my framed prints until I saw a Herb Ritts Exhibit at La MEP in Paris, 2016. And couldn’t “see” this image, until now.
Wildly different from the color version I posted here, in 2011. But much closer to the spirit of dancers in theater. Much closer to the magic.
Stage Rehearsal for “Anastasia” – Cary Ballet Conservatory, June 2011
A full afternoon waiting in an automobile service dept. offers free coffee and library-like quiet. Finished reading and looking at this today, a 1952 re-issue. Found a kindred artistic spirit. And belatedly discovered his foundation was a short walk from the vacation apt. we rented in Le Marais. My late Sweetheart would have chewed me out for highlighting passages and bending page corners – but it is, my book. And I found a communion of artistic spirit. My pile of notes for a book about the alchemy of the How and Why of photography making Art are nearly plagiarism. I was two when this was published. Some ideas are timeless and transcend technology.
Henri Cartier Bresson “The Decisive Moment”
Photographed at weekend event at Ashworth Village in Cary, long ago. I was making photographs for Cary Citizen. And discovered that the lack of guile in children is, vitamins for the adult spirit.
Nearing 76 turns about the Sun, I get spiritual renewal watching kids invent play with shopping carts at the grocery. My late Sweetheart & Boss Lady thought I was embarrassing, riding our grocery cart, downhill to the car. Tried it the other day – I weigh too much, cart tilted backwards. Or maybe, it was empty and light, shopping for one. And 16 years later, I remember the unvarnished honesty of this child.
Safe at home on a damned near perfect afternoon, with Beer and Bourbon. Mary Chapin Carpenter’s “Shooting Straight In The Dark”, playing on my bookshelf stereo. And reading a gift, from my young dog rescuing neighbor, a wonderful book, “Dog Songs” by Mary Oliver. And taking a license with a title, “Ropes”. Like the dog in the story, been chewing through ropes, as long as I can remember. Like a lot of us, looking to be free to discover. Free now.
This arrived today, none of which I needed but the price was irresistible. As was the possibility of making a portrait. Smaller than my Mole-Richardson gear that I sold on retirement. But maybe, a good fit for an apartment , to make a portrait of a young friend I greatly admire, a la the following image, made after my 2012 lighting epiphany.
Made this photograph in September of 2009, on the back end of a wonderful voyage aboard the Aurora Explorer. The car ferry from Victoria to Seattle, via the Strait of Juan de Fuca, allowed me to be topside, something ex-Submariners find, astonishing. Saw this on the stern quarter. Big Boat – 560 ft vs the 425 ft Lafayette Class Polaris Boomer I was aboard. They’re sailing for a “Nuclear Strategic Deterrent Patrol” aka “Making a hole in the water for a few months”. In 2026, they’re still on Patrol.
Ohio Class Fleet Ballistic Missile Submarine with USCG Escorts, outbound.
This is wildly ahead of the chronology of my Post Plan but:
A mid-April, windows open, 90 degree Saturday in North Carolina, with good Hefeweizen from Bavaria & Bourbon from Kentucky, listening to Bonnie Raitt’s “Nick of Time”. Deciding on the last prints I’ll order for my home gallery and an exhibit plan I’ll submit in mid summer. But that’s not what this is about.
Made this photograph on another Saturday, in Sept of 2016. Print arrived last week. I’ll frame tomorrow. That September afternoon, after wandering about Le Marais near our apt., we lounged a few hours at the cafe on the right. Shared a meal with my late sweetheart. It was, the very best of times.
Like a lot of others, we’d both made poor marital decisions, had child custody battles, witnessed the deaths of parents and got corporate downsized. And we struggled through two years of Stage 4 Cancer consequences. Yet, we’d found each other – “In the Nick of Time”. Arriving home in North Carolina, we decided the kitchen renovation could wait a year and revisited Paris, the next September. Which included the 5oth Anniversary Performance of Balanchine’s “Jewels” in a good box at the Palais Garnier, aka the Paris Opera House. Which the Paris Opera has announced for it’s next Season. I won’t attend because my love, to paraphrase Etta Jones, won’t be there.
“The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men often go awry”
The wonderful Dancer and Actor who has performed as “Herr Drosselmeyer” in the Cary Ballet Company productions of the “The Nutcracker”, recently asked me for some photographs to show some folks who had never seen it. Retired as I am, I set off into archive land, thinking I could give him a well deserved chronology and evidence of his artistry, from my work of 2011 to 2021.
Was going well until I discovered I’d never edited the rough gallery from the 6 PM Sunday performance in 2018. And it was a bit of photographic special. I do remember thinking, last show, I have everything, so let’s take some chances! Added a 1.5x Tele Convertor Lens to my tripod mounted Sigma 100-300 F4 Zoom. So now, I was at 150 mm to 450 mm focal length – capable of making head shots from rear of theater. But high risk, including the loss of an aperture stop and narrower Depth of Field, so lots of soft and out of focus images. Still had my 50-135 mm on the other body. And I’ve spent the last two afternoons winnowing down my mistakes. I forgot how much work this was. Stay tuned!
Mid May 2008, an airport rental car got us from Seattle to Vancouver, British Columbia, where I made my photography transition to Raw Image File format. My complete kit kit was a Pentax K10 DSLR and a Tamron 28-75 f2.8 lens.
Most Camera brands have a proprietary Raw file format: Pentax “PEF”, Nikon “NEF”, Canon “CR2”, etc.. Each require software specific to the Make & Model of camera. My Pentax camera also offered DNG aka Digital Negatives, an open standard, originally published by Adobe and which they tried to give away to a standards body. It was supported by the free software I had on my laptop, Google’s “Picasa”. So the day after leaving Seattle, I switched to DNGs and have used them exclusively ever since. It’s like cooking from scratch vs a TV Dinner.
My Sweetheart and Boss Lady showed me Vancouver, a place she knew. A Taxi took us to the wonderful Vancouver Aquarium at Stanley Park. Next day, a car ferry took us to Nanimao on Vancouver Island
Click images for full size.
2008 was a busy travel year. Tokyo in Feb., UK in Mar. and Seattle in May, to visit old friends of my Sweetheart & Boss Lady. I’d been commuting for business to Beijing and had a LOT of Air Miles, so RDU to SeaTac, in First, was a freebie. It was a place she wanted to show me.
Before our trip was completed, I changed my camera to record RAW images vs the JPEG default setting. These were the last JPEGs I ever captured. It was one more step on learning to take control of my work
Click images for full size.
Ansel Adams said “The Negative is the equivalent of the composer’s score, and the Print the performance.” The Digital Darkroom allows me the same tools as a Painter and the work process is pretty much the same, sans the odor of paint. Having real time to look through the 12 year catalog of my “scores”, aka “Digital Negatives”, I’m finally figuring out how to perform them.
Cary Ballet Rehearsal at Raleigh Memorial Auditorium – June 2017
This week has been acoustically interrupted by the young couple in the apartment behind me, moving out. Discovered via a neighbor that job issues dictated a move back to Texas. Lucky for them, it’s to Austin. I am Old Man Grateful to be able to stay where I belong. At peace and comfort. Yep, lucky!
Click images for full size
My Main or Key Light, above her on a Boom, didn’t fire. Wireless Triggers and Receivers are generally reliable. And I was a half count early on my shutter, before she was over her leg. Still, 5 years later, I find this wonderful young dancer transcendent of my shortcomings.
Studio Session at Cary Ballet Conservatory – June 2021
It was a lot warmer when I made this photograph (Squirrel Splooting). But much later in the year, when the Carolina Long Leaf Pines were not adding a thick, sticky layer of Yellow Pollen that caused me today, to surrender $15 to a Drive Thru Car Wash (a downside of apartment life without a garden hose connection). And aggravated my informally adopted Grand Daughters and a lot of other folks, Allergies. Good news is, a. Lower Utility Bill and b. Open window and door screens for ventilation with a gas range. Meanwhile, trees are having sex!
Dog sitting today triggered this post. It was good for both of us.
1999 and the breeder of our Labrador Retriever “Mac” had a “Puppy Cam” on a litter which I watched as I pretended to work from home for the IBM PC Company. And my Sweetheart and Boss Lady said “You want a second dog, quit smoking”. So “Mr. Two Pack A Day” quit. And we drove round trip from North Carolina to Ohio. And has since saved me six figure plus of dollars that literally, would go up in sm0ke. Saved my life. I owe him.
Melanchete’s “Rocky” AKC CGC – 26 Dec. 2010
Spent a good part of today with some accomplished young artists of the Cary Ballet Company, performing for the very young audience at a local Elementary School. And 14 years disappeared, remembering this photograph.
Side By Side Jazz Concert , Cary Arts Center – August 2012
My post retirement work as a photographer is pro bono and vitamins for an old heart. Last Thursday, I made photographs of about 125 2nd Grade Students, singing at their Spring Concert at a local Elementary School. Their teacher ( whose ability to wrangle 125 kids in a theater I cannot comprehend) is a neighbor, dear friend, dog rescuer, soprano and fortuitous confidant.
I have no Model Release or permission for the photographs I made – they are given on a USB drive to the school for the Moms & Dads. So I cannot show them here. I even blurred this image. Yep, had to work around an audience of camera phones. I can find five in this image, besides the one making a photograph of them. The photographs I made, with a tripod mounted camera and bazooka sized lens (and two other camera bodies with 28-75mm and 50-135mm lenses), I hope, will make Mama’s cry and kids grin. It may have been a freebie, but I came to work. 30 minutes of performance time worked out to about six hours of selection and edit. Not gonna “Phone” it in.
A photography neophyte, I had enthusiasm and no confidence to leave the camera on “M”. Fixed all, by year end. Stirling Castle, March 2008
Click images for full size.
The news today was of a massive fire here . Long ago, for a week, it was my daily commute start & finish while on a business trip. I cannot imagine the loss.
Click images for full size.
Glasgow Central Station, March 2008
A few months after returning “camera less” from Paris, I added a newly purchased DSLR to my laptop bag for a business trip to Japan. I’d bought a Pentax K10D and a Tamron 28-75mm, 2.8 Lens. I still have and use the lens. Still use Pentax bodies but I’ve proved the axiom “you date your cameras but marry your lenses”. It’s been on been on 12 or 13 DSLR bodies. Even replaced the rubber zoom and focus sleeves that I wore through.
Tokyo Tower, Feb 2008
I’d read the camera manual front to back but was still using “Picasa” and shooting JPEGs. That didn’t last long – within a year, I had a calibrated monitor, Wacom Digitizer Tablet, Photoshop and had switched the camera to DNG’s aka Raw. It was Step One of of my photography journey.
And before my flight left from Narita, my work Boss Lady told me we were okayed for travel to Scotland. So about 12 or 14 hours later, between flights at O’Hare in Chicago, I called my real Boss Lady and asked her if she would like to go to Scotland. And she said yes!
Our first non-business trip to Paris, made with a 3.2 MP Sony Cyber shot. The camera was obsolete but what I had. Days later, a skilled Paris pickpocket “liberated” it from my jacket, hung on a chair back while I went to the loo in a Bistro. Which post travel, triggered my justification to buy a replacement and the discovery that was the basis of my post-corporate photography career.
I owe him. Also proved the wisdom of daily downloads from camera to storage. He did get my Metro Sign photo. Bless his heart!
Tour Eiffel, Paris 2007
Woke to a Carolina “Window & Screen Open” March Day – 76 & sunshine!! Dreams had brought vivid memory of my late sweetheart. Later, post caffeine and fully conscious, I thought about the question I hear when I tell folks I’ve retired – “Are you traveling”? Nope, already did that! A lot! Some for business, some for us. Some for both. While we could.
My Boss Lady & Sweet Heart – Bastille Market, Paris 2016
Clouds and a low Horizon position will make the Lunar Eclipse tomorrow almost impossible to see, from the Raleigh area. And it’s a couple of years until the next one!
Nearly a dozen years ago, it happened on a clear night. Lived behind a Golf Course. A short midnight walk with my tripod and I had an entire Fairway to myself. And no tree line to interfere, like the tall Pines that surrounded our home (and provided welcome shade in Carolina summers).
Wandering through galleries, thinking about entries for a Juried Exhibit – okay, insomnia. Realized I need to organize “Places I Remember” (thanks Paul McCartney).
Made this in Waikiki, late 2013. High end shopping district: Cartier, Chanel, Hermes, LV, et al. This store has since closed but I could not resist the pun.
I’ve been struggling on how to start curating 12 years of my roughly edited dance galleries – on playing for my Muse. Figure I’ve got about a decade or so left. That ought to be enough time. Could not resist the title (guessing at her age). Didn’t want to step on the Degas Sculpture Title.
Bravo Academy of Dance, Recital Rehearsal – Chapel Hill, N.C. 2017
As for Degas, I did try to get an introducton to make photographs at the Ballet School of the Opéra national de Paris. Having made friends with a retired dancer during a Master Class who I learned was connected there, I asked for an introduction. And she told me not to mention her name, she hadn’t gotten along at all, with a director at the school. C’est la vie, y’all!
Made these from the Observation Deck, way up high . Click images for full size
Gave some fellow grey hairs a presentation today at The Cary Senior Center. Went well but I was as nervous as blind cat in a dog pound!
Home, my informally adopted Granddaughter & Dumpster Puppy Rescuer & Elementary School Music Teacher & Soprano & Confidant stopped by ( okay dragged by now grown dog for treats) on a rare Feb. 70’s, screens open afternoon before the Dog Park. Told her how it went, 4 years after my last class, cleaning out the cobwebs. She smiled and said ‘Teaching is hard!”.
And I said it is and it’s also wonderful! And she smiled, again.
Deanna Seay and student – Cary Ballet Conservatory – 2011
Been overthinking a presentation this week to some fellow gray hairs about Lighting for Photography – in this case Table Top. Do it well, better numbers on eBay, something I know first hand!
Regardless of purpose, principles remain the same. And wandering around the Web-O-Sphere, found lots of noise and little understanding. And surfing some local Headshot Photographer offerings, was wildly underwhelmed. Everything looked flat. There ain’t no silver bullet, including “Nano Banana”.
This from my last Headshot Session in 2022. Made with obsolete Mole- Richardson Tungsten Fresnel’s, some flags, the Inverse Square Law and a young lady who renews my optimism for humanity.
My Curmudgeonly disregard for the noise of popular culture has, until recently, reduced my television time to new episodes of SNL, where I discover current popular culture. Emotionally thawing, I’ve lately (with the assistance of the Mute button during commercials) watched local 6 PM & and national 6:30 news.
7 PM curious, I discovered a post Notre Dame fire Rick Steve’s program on PBS about Paris – a very dear place to me. My sweetheart made it so – and especially Marais, where we and Rick, spent time a lot of time. Click images for full size.
Rare Carolina Ice & Snow necessarily caused hibernation. But the “Web-0-Sphere” knows no such limits. During last weeks weather events, received two paid offers that boosted my ego! Turned down one but accepted the other, Pro Bono. Bunch of gray hairs, like me!
Spent a full afternoon at my desk, thinking, editing and putting together a presentation appropriate for the audience. These were made before I had a literal truck load of fresnels, speed lights, mono lights and grip gear. Minimalist!
Rare Carolina snowfall & front door photograph of my truck and folks making their own photographs who unlike me, didn’t grow up with this white stuff.
The Ice & Snow Forecast was correct. Underneath the modest snow fall is a sheet of ice that’s going nowhere for a few days, same as me and my truck Apartment Maintenance liberally spread rock salt on the walk yesterday. Futile.
This AM, watched a young dare devil in his “Pocket Rocket” discover the ice layer and impossibility of motoring up the modest grade. He backed to his parking space, walked to where he got stuck, brushed the snow with his foot and found the ice sheet. And wisely went home.
Between Paris and a kitchen reno, I had little choice but to attend an exhibit at Biltmore House in Asheville, by the Glass Artist Dale Chihuly. The Boss Lady was a ginormous fan, which explains a previous trip to Seattle Tacoma. Plus she visited with old friends. Click for full size
On the recovery side of a multi-day, nasty head cold, prepping the dinner I’d planned two days ago and gratefully dog sitting for a young neighbor whose weekend will be embedded with the wedding of a lifelong friend, got back to this:
And discovered the work of photographer Toyo Miyatake. He was born in 1895, in Shizuoka Prefecture, Japan, a place I spent a brief time in, for work.
A naturalized US Citizen, he and his family and 80,000 native born American Citizens were taken from their homes, with what they could carry in suitcases and locked up in essentially, prison camps, like “Manzanar”.
Which I think, echoes the current persecution of Somali American native born citizens. And this book is inbound: Seen And Unseen.
Finished the 2026 I/T refresh today! Data backups, Telephony refresh, physical re-config of new office furniture, “New” refurbed laptop (replaced 2016 Fujitsu Lifebook hacked with Rufus for Win 11) and made USB Bootable Sysvol’s of Desktop and “New” Laptop! And a clear calendar for months- feels good!
Today, a young friend was kind to listen to an old man express loss, five years on. It released my fear of facing it. It’s been, as Dylan wrote “Too Personal A Tale”. And I found the courage to bring out her portrait. The best I ever made – of the worst client I ever had.
First week of this New Year had been an in-house I/T refresh. Data backups (N+3), Telephony refresh, Desktop physical configuration for new office furniture and an incoming “new” refurbed laptop to replace my 10 year Fujitsu Lifebook I hacked with Rufus so it would run Win 11. But that’s not what this is about.
This is what my studio shoots looked like when I had access to open hours at Cary Ballet Conservatory. The building, since sold, is now a Bank that I drove by today, after shopping Habitat, before shopping Target.
Walking into Habitat, I was greeted with a smile and hug from an ex-neighbor and customer. The Senior Portrait session of her youngest was my very last portrait session. The print is on her wall, with the others I made of his younger sisters, both of who suffered my fussiness in this building. And she also hired me for “Truck Day” at Bright Horizon Day Care Centers.
So what I’m starting to get ready to begin is thinking about and curating a dozen years of Digital Negatives (about 6 TB) and writing a book and leaving a family history for the next generation. I have the luxury of time without demands and the ability. It is, as good as it gets.
Arrived in the mail today, the companion volume to her 1966 MoMA retrospective exhibit. My Dorothea Lange bookshelf is nearing completion.
USPS brought this book today, the companion volume of the documentary DVD: “Grab A Hunk Of Lightning”. By late afternoon, it was annotated with Post-It notes – profusely! A kindred spirit but way tougher than I ever was.
USPS brought a DVD today: “Grab A Hunk Of Lightning”. The companion book & 1966 MoMA retrospective catalog are on their way. She was the best of us.
On the first day of this New Year, I kept self promises – included making an unvarnished and sustainable budget. And finally, back on my Rowing Machine. Felt good! There is great utility in making the equivalent of a U.S.N. Submarine “Plan Of The Day”.
Killer good meal ready soon and I want for nothing. And the memory of my Sweetheart sustains. I wish y’all a good New Year.
I agreed to make photographs for a Cary Ballet Calendar. After two pickup truck loads of gear and three hours of load in and setup, I was ready!
Click each image for full size
I wrote last January, 2025:
Post retirement (old guy) reflection on my work as a photographer, created an itch I’ve been scratching, to curate and show the result of a dozen years. Still early on and skimpy. May take a year or so: http://www.brookemeyer.com
Almost January 2026: Nah! It’ll take a LOT longer! Just imagine, an endless supply of paper and crayons with no Bell Schedule! Can spend hours reading about Lady Day and Dorthea Lange! After 75 years of perpetual motion, time to savor my great good luck.
And I think Kurt Vonnegut had it right: “The moral of the story is, we’re here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And what the computer people don’t realize — or they don’t care — is we’re dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And we’re not supposed to dance at all anymore.”
Photographer & Clients at “Picture Days” 2016
Bravo Academy of Dance – Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Like “Mac”, I find sleep and comfort irresistible. And good food . I made all of his. No convenient bagged junk. Real Chow: Half can of Salmon with a shot of Olive Oil in AM (and Cosamin DS for bad joints, same as I still take to not need knee surgery) split with our attitude Lab, “Rocky”. PM, Bone In Raw Chicken Wings. Later, as he and Rocky got older, ground up raw Chickens, cooked Rice, Collards and Sweet Taters.
Saturdays, a “Trotter” on the deck, from Nahunta Pork Center at the Raleigh Farmers Market – which got disappeared in 45 minutes! Never had to have their teeth cleaned.
Disclaimer: I once wrote to a young lady from a Navy Training School who later told me my letters were complex and hard to read – she was right).
We both aged to relish and enjoy quietude. This is almost, a self portrait. We both got grey muzzles. And shared a deep love of our missus, whose side he would not leave in her illness. As she would not leave his. The hard part of love is good bye. Eventually, account balance is zero, with no credit line. So it goes.
This was a favorite of my late Sweetheart -she insisted on the framed print above our fireplace, each Christmas. Later, I had the good fortune to gift it to Santa and Mrs Claus!
26 December 2010- The trains still run. Else, new names and owners.
Watching the Cary Ballet Company “Nutcracker” last night was wonderful.
I didn’t know it then, but this photograph from 2021 would be the last I would make, after a dozen years of CBC productions. It was inevitable. As Chaucer wrote in 1395: “Time and tide wait for no man.” Decided the next fall, without regret, it was time to retire.
Cary Ballet “Nutcracker” Final Bow | Cary Arts Center | 19 Dec 2021
The extraordinary performance I saw last evening was deeply life affirming. Being part of that, lasts forever. About as long as it will take me to really curate about 5 TB of Digital Negatives! The luxury of time & absence of needing to earn is a new kind of freedom that I fully embrace. Like the hugs I got last night.
Last week, driving by the spectacular Town Hall and Academy Street Christmas displays, the child in me, marveled! The old man in me, finds peace and comfort in the simplicity and elegance of 15 years ago.
Ambassador Loop Lamp Post| Cary Town Hall Campus | 26 Dec 2010
Page-Walker Arts & History Center started life as a railroad hotel next to still used train tracks. So I occasionally had to pause teaching Thursday night Photography Classes on the second floor, while Trains rumbled by with their warning horns. Freight and Passenger!
Page-Walker Arts and History Center | Cary Town Hall Campus | 26 Dec 2010
I had Downtown Cary all to myself – except for this rowdy bunch!
“Join The Parade” by Jane A. Rankin | Cary Town Hall Campus | 26 Dec 2010
Early last evening, I went to the Cary Photographic Artists Holiday Party at the Herb C Young Community Center in Cary.
Got waylaid by a bunch of Labrador Retrievers on the way in. Sent my heart into overload. Never did find out what the meetup was for but – oh my.
Christmas Day through the 26th of 2010, it snowed in Cary, North Carolina. Rare event. Beginning with my two Labs, I made photographs of our “White Christmas”. Spent the next day making photographs in Downtown Cary. Which looked a LOT different tonight, driving down Academy Street.
But this is really about two dogs whose ashes I’ve kept to go to sea with mine: Melanchete’s MacGyver AKC CGC & Melanchete’s Rocky AKC CGC.
Santa with Singing Pirate
Heart of Cary Association “Winterfest” – 6 Dec. 2015
Heart of Cary Association “Winterfest” – 5 Dec. 2015
Heart of Cary Association “Winterfest” – 1 Dec. 2012
Heart of Cary Association “Winterfest” – 7 Dec. 2013
3 Dec 2011, I expected to visit the North Carolina Museum of Art with timed Tickets to a Van Gogh Exhibit at the North Carolina Museum of Art with the company of dear friends and house guests, visiting from Toronto. Phone rang: Lindsey Chester of “Cary Citizen”.
“Our photographer called out sick, can you come make photographs with Santa Claus?” I stalled, said I would call some folks I knew in Cary Photographic Artists. Did and got zero response. Sweetheart said, “Oh just go do it, we’ll be fine.” So I loaded my truck with what I thought I needed and headed to Downtown Cary. Courtesy of Joy & Dan Pike, found a pop up tent and chair in Chatham Street, in front of what was then Ashworth’s Drugstore.
Putting up a 9’x20′ Vinyl background I used for dancers in studio, wind was an issue. An energetic and diminutive lady in the next booth graciously lent me a roll of gaffer tape!
And until 2015, I made photographs of Santa for the Heart of Cary Association.
It was wonderful!
Watching the Ken Burns film tonight about the American Revolution, put me back in a Paris Vacation Apartment, in Marais, after an evening at the Opera for the 50th Anniversary of Balanchine’s Ballet “Jewels”. I was coincidentally reading David McCulloughs biography of “John Adams”. This is an excerpt from Abigail Adams letter of 20 Feb. 1785:
My Dear Sister,
The first dance which I saw upon the Stage shoked me, the Dress’es and Beauty of the performers was enchanting, but no sooner did the Dance commence, than I felt my delicacy wounded, and I was ashamed to bee seen to look at them. Girls cloathd in the thinest Silk: and Gauze, with their peticoats short Springing two foot from the floor poising themselves in the air, with their feet flying, and as perfectly shewing their Garters and draws, as tho no peticoat had been worn, was a sight altogether new to me. Their motions are as light as air and as quick as lightning. They balance themselves to astonishment. No description can equal the reality.
They are daily trained to it from early infancy, at a Royal academy instituted for this purpose. You will very often see little creatures not more than 7 or 8 years old as undauntedly performing their parts as the eldest amongst them. Shall I speak a Truth and say that repeatedly seeing these Dances has worn of that disgust which I first felt, and that I see them now with pleasure. …. The art of dancing is carried to the highest degree of perfection that it is capable of; at the opera
I have Scarcly room left to say that I am Your affectionate sister
A.A
Made a menu today for the rest of this & next week. Then, shopped at Total Wine, BJ’s Warehouse and Lowe’s Foods. My list would be, Doctor Approved!
And there is, I’ve discovered, a freedom, a release from “Worry” with a comfortable, late life. It is simple and elegant. Like an open stage, in theater.
3D Jazz Project at Cary Ballet Conservatory – Rehearsal
Cary Arts Center, February 2016
Sunday evenings tend to memory – favorites. This market, in walking distance from our vacation apartment, was a favorite place to shop, with my sweetheart. Way different than Harris-Teeter.
And I promise, walk along Rue De Rivoli with Leeks and a Baguette poking up from a shopping bag, dressed like Americans and a tourist will ask, in English, for directions.
I’d say, stifling a smirk, “Parlez vous francais?” And get an admonishing poke in the rib from my sweetie (who had no French at all, even my pathetic skill). “Yes”, she’d say, in English, “Where do you want to go?”
Marché Bastille, Paris – Sept 2016
Tuesday, I’ll deliver photographs (not these) for display at the 2025 Cary Photographic Artists Members Show at The Cary Arts Center. The exhibit is coincident with the Cary Ballet Company Annual performance of “The Nutcracker”.
My last participation was 2019 (the second photograph) . Which her father made certain to take home. With luck, I might get to visit with both this young lady and her parents. All are still in my heart.
Cary Ballet Conservatory “Nutcracker” Studio Rehearsal- December 2015
Cary Ballet Conservatory – Youth America Grand Prix Preview – April 2019
The luxury of unhurried time without schedule is a great gift of late life. Especially when the Muse refuses to allow sleep and demands attention. It’s taken me a very long time to “see” this image. I hope to get the print right.
Cary Ballet Company Rehearsal for “Cinderella” – 31 March 2011
In 2024, I moved back to Cary from the hinterland of an unincorporated part of Wake County, behind a Golf Course where my sweetheart & me snuggled in our last years together.
From 2011 and after downsizing in 2013 (I was burnt on I/T jobs) and before 2020 parted us by death, I made photographs for the now closed but still available publication “Cary Citizen”.
A legit Press Pass was my Magic Carpet to try and portray humanity. Here’s the evidence: Cary Citizen Archive – Brooke Meyer
Recently, I got skunked in a local Juried Photography Competition. This evening, for a completely unrelated reason, was reading an interview with Joni Mitchell. The interviewer wrote “like Miles, Joni never really played to her fans, speaking directly only to her muse. ”
That is, I do believe, the deal. And how I played.
Made this photograph in March of 2011. Was heading back to my truck after making photographs of the Cary Kite Festival at Bond Park. Dogwood Blossoms suspended above a Town of Cary trash can. A metaphor for today’s politics.
Journalism Photography was different from my work at Cary Ballet Conservatory. My Press & Fair & Parking Pass to the NC State Fair via Cary Citizen was to tell a story. I never made photographs to laugh at anyone. With, yes. At, no.
So seven years later, I still struggle with this image. The hat says “Navy” which as an ex Submariner, still really bothers me.
2018 North Carolina State Fair – Photographed for Cary Citizen
Aboard USS Andrew Jackson SSBN 619, there was once a a crew member who ate so much during a two month patrol, he could not fit through a hatch to leave the ship. Literally, stuck aboard.
Solution was to: 1. Not feed him for a couple of of days 2. Strip him down to skivvies. 3. Oil him up (don’t remember if it was vegetable or Shell Tellus Hydraulic). 4. Put a few pounds of air pressure in AMR and pop him out out the hatch. He probably had a waistline north of 58″, triple the diameter of a 19″ hatch.
Not humorous. Not at all. Yep, he got out. Before stuck making another Patrol
I was again not accepted into a Juried Photography Competition, sponsored by a local camera club. So in the tradition of the Salon des Refusés, here are my rejects.
Disclaimer: These prints are on my apartment living room wall and are NFS. It did get me out for the reception to visit and talk story. And flirt!
Circus
Psyche & Eros
iPointe
By December of of 2012, I’d found my artistic & spiritual home at Cary Ballet Conservatory. Especially in Theater.
Made this image on 12/12/12 at the Cary Arts Center. Didn’t realize she was my “Muse”. Stage Makeup and Street Clothes. Later, home at my desk, after downloading and backing up the photographs I’d made at rehearsal, I stared at this, with my Bourbon & Beer and realized :
Spent the next summer learning. Found the work of George Hurrell, another Painter turned Photographer. And Yousuf Karsh, whose work changed after he became involved with an actress and discovered theater lighting. And found my Lighting Bible – for free (Pages 135 through 140)!
And I spent the next 10 years trying to get it right. Haunted eBay:
Mole – Richardson Tungsten Fresnels
And found young dancers who were willing to let me try to make their portraits.
2018 North Carolina State Fair – Photographed for Cary Citizen
2016 North Carolina State Fair – Click above for full size
The North Carolina State Fair, besides rides and crazy foods (delicious fun), is essentially about farming. A hard, uncertain life. My Fair & Press Credential permitted access to the barns behind the Show Rings. I was careful to be respectful. Click images for full size.
2015 North Carolina State Fair – Photographed for Cary Citizen
Ouch, the traffic! But when you FINALLY get there! Click images for full size.
2016 North Carolina State Fair – Photographed for Cary Citizen
Not News: “Traffic worries driving some crazy as NC State Fair begins – WRAL”
This is news: “Food Vendors not returning to the NC State Fair – Raleigh N&O”.
Photographed for Cary Citizen
2015 North Carolina State Fair – Photographed for Cary Citizen
And vitamins for an old heart – Click image for full size
2015 North Carolina State Fair – Photographed for Cary Citizen
Some memories, persist. Maybe due to Sunday quiet. Or old age. Or both.
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In this Sunday memory, Departmental Road 9, Belleau, Departement de l’Aisne (France), FR. It was a Monday in Sept. of 2017, 99 years after War.
The local American / French Museum was closed, so we walked along farm roads in gorgeous late September sunshine and quiet, to our destination.
You can get there easily from Paris, by Metro to Gare de l’Est, then express train to Château-Thierry and local taxi to Belleau. And can walk the battlefield in silence. Click images for full size.
Click Link For Photo Galleries of the 2010 -2014 North Carolina State Fairs
Photographed for Cary Citizen
2015 – 2019 Coming Soon!
2014 North Carolina State Fair – Photographed for Cary Citizen
2013 North Carolina State Fair – Photographed for Cary Citizen
After two side trips, wandering about my local Barnes&Nobles bookstore and handling, twice, a plastic wrapped copy of “The Americans” by Robert Frank, I went home and discovered the Wake County Library didn’t have it. So I surfed my favorite book store, Goodwill Books . Us down sized Widowers know what old folks get rid of!
Found a copy near me, in Gastonia, North Carolina. Ordered and it arrived today. It is, extraordinary. And highly recommended.
Some husbands carry the Baby and get Directions (the smart ones).
2012 North Carolina State Fair – Photographed for Cary Citizen
Next year, we’ll get the Blue Ribbon!
2012 North Carolina State Fair
Cargo Helicopter – Campbell River, Vancouver Island, B. C. – Sept 2009
“Blue Hour” isn’t an an hour. It’s 15 or 20 minutes of Twilight. In mornings, before Sunrise. Or Evenings, after Sunset. And borderline magical.
Yep, I’d consulted the almanac. And watched my watch. And wrist compass.
2011 North Carolina State Fair – Photographed for Cary Citizen
The news this week reminded me of an embarrassing incident I caused as a photographer, so focused on the image, the ride was was stopped!
The 2016 North Carolina State Fair featured a new “SkyRide” transporting visitors high across the Fair. Fascinated, I used my Fair & Press credentials to talk myself into the passenger loading area. Solely focused (no pun) on making a dramatic image, I (innocently and ignorantly) backed my butt up to the “Emergency Stop”. And it worked! And I got highly disapproving looks from the folks working the ride. Sheepishly, I slinked away.
So watching the video of a videographer riding an escalator backwards, ahead of the President & First Lady – yeah, no way he’s going to ‘fess up to the butt stop.
My first attempt at a High School Senior Portrait Session was 13 years ago. I’d made Prom Pictures in a neighbors home and was recommended to another neighbor. It was also about a half year before my lighting “Epiphany” and subsequent truckloads of gear. So outdoor ambient light it was.
After okay (and way better than Life Touch Prestige) sessions in the garden of Page Walker Arts & History Center (which I discovered later was illegal as I was being paid and did not have a Permit) and Raulston Arboretum (where it’s legal if you don’t interfere with Visitors or damage the horticulture), I suggested a visit to the North Carolina Museum of Art.
Rodin Garden at North Carolina Museum of Art – June 2012
Confession: I’m a a failed B.F.A. Major and Rodin fan. I’ve made multiple, full afternoon visits to Musée Rodin in Paris and spent quality time with the large scale marble sculptures on the mezzanine of the Musée d’Orsay. So I felt a kinship. And the young lady and her chaperone Mom agreed. And it planted the seed of an idea for my Illegal Sunday, 6 years later. And I bet if Auguste Rodin was still around and saw these, he’d grin.
The month before making this promo image for “Collabo”, a joint performance by the Ballet & Jazz Companies at Cary Ballet Conservatory, I discovered, while visiting the NCMA (North Carolina Museum of Art) Booth at Cary’s “Lazy Daze”, it would not be allowed. There were new rules against “commercial” photography. Being well versed in corporate inanity, I acted surprised, nodded and smiled, saying I certainly understood.
Having previously photographed performances by the non-profit Cary Ballet Conservatory at NCMA and me working pro-bono and content I was breaking no rules, I devised a work around. First, I didn’t tell anyone. Second, it was planned for a Sunday and I knew the NCMA Rep at Lazy Daze wouldn’t be there. Third, I deployed Dance Moms on the perimeter and nobody messes with Dance Moms – plus they were also VALS (Voice Activated Light Stands) and held a bunch of “speed lights” triggered from my camera.
There is a 24″ x 36″ framed print of this image on my living room wall. I would be willing to lend it to NCMA for display – Gratis! Seriously!
North Carolina Museum of Art – 23 Sept 2018
It’s hard to comprehend this was only four years ago. I was still a “Widower Novitiate”. Work provided balance. This studio session was with a stunning natural beauty and drop dead graceful, elegant dancer. Proof that the Great Spirit was in a really good mood when she was born. To work, to collaborate with such hard working artists was a great gift. I was very, very lucky.
Studio Session at Cary Ballet Conservatory – June 2021
The North Carolina State Fair begins next month, 16 to 26 October.
This gallery from 2009 was my first visit and I was overwhelmed. It is color and crowds and noise and crazy food and animals and rides and wonderful.
From 2010 to 2019, I had Press Credentials from the Fair & Cary Citizen! Which included a Parking Pass to the Vendor Lot at Carter Finley Stadium and a Shuttle to the Fair! Plus, before opening day, I would select two images from the previous Fair to enter into the Photography Competition. Winning “Best Fair Scene” in 2016 with a Ribbon and a Check, I think made me an Official “Tar Heel”!
Re-visiting those galleries is a project I hope to finish by the start of this year’s Fair. Meanwhile, here is my skimpy, amateur maiden voyage. Click each for full size
In 1863 Paris, paintings by Gustave Courbet, Édouard Manet and Camille Pissarro were rejected by the Paris Salon. Today, I received the same from an online Juried Digital photography competition, sponsored by a local camera club. So in the tradition of the Salon des Refusés, here are my rejects.
Dubious – “This Tap Dance Croc Rock thing doesn’t really work for me!”
Seen – “The guy with the long lens on a tripod – he looks legit.”
Tough – “Glamorous, my foot!
1947, T-Bone Walker wrote this lyric. My hearing of it is Eva Cassidy.
Today, this old carcass got out to the Cary Downtown Park to test drive some new gear. A monochrome only sensor (take that Bayer Filter!) and some colored filters traditionally used on B&W film. I was today, a novitiate.
Another gray hair did a presentation at Cary Photographic Artists and I hit that thing like a bass to a lure! Turns out, odd duck that I am, been using Pentax gear forever. So I already had the glass.
Weather turned from ugly to wonderful. So test drive today aka “play” with a monochrome only sensor and colored filters (it’s a physics / visible spectrum / traditional B&W film thing). Saturday, in the park. Click each for full size.
Halfway through a new edit of four (ok, five) photography sessions for an ex co-worker & /friend from my corporate days. Roughly a year before my exit/nearly fired by mainland China Managers, I’d been self teaching photography after a 2007 incident in Paris where a skilled pick pocket “liberated” an already obsolete Sony P&S from my jacket, hung on the back of a bistro chair while I went to the loo. But that’s not what this is about.
A trusting co-worker and horse owner bought into my photography enthusiasm! We set up a shoot session at the stable where she boarded her horse. It was my first introduction to:
A. The inexplicable bond between horses & women.
B. Discovering all Stable owners are crazy.
C. I had a LOT to learn about making photographs. A lot!
So with enthusiasm and naivete, we made some photographs. Which I was embarrassed by. So I asked for and got a d0-over. Looking at the photographs I made for her 3, 7 and 11 years later (different horses), I can see the difference made by the experience of a wearing out s bunch of camera bodies and maybe 6oo to 700 K clicks. How to get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice!
Today, finished editing and posting (including a play I mis”played”) all the dress rehearsals of Cary Player production I photographed for Cary Citizen between 2011 and 2016! Online galleries are here, just click on the name: Cary Players Galleries.
And 2016 was, “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever!
Dress Rehearsal – Cary Arts Center – 28 November 2016
Back to work – fresh edit of 2011 to 2016 Cary Player Galleries almost done!
“Elle and Bruiser” – Cary Arts Center – Photographed for Cary Citizen
Gallery here: 2015 Cary Players production of “Legally Blonde”
Oct. of 2010 found me floundering, looking for a raison d’etre. Newly decoupled from an IT job at Lenovo nee IBM PC Company, south of Social Security and burnt from the inanity of self absorbed navel gazers who professed omnipotence, my tank was empty. Which properly worried my sweetheart about how we were going to get along.
So trying to find my bearings . I got a legit press pass from “Cary Citizen” and went to photograph “Celebration of The Children In the Arts”. Which was, unknown to me, a gateway spiritual drug. I found my artistic North Star!
100% naive of Ballet, Deanna Seay (who’d I had no idea had just retired as Principal Soloist at Miami City Ballet or had any idea of what that meant) was very kind and supportive and invited me to just come and watch classes.
And I remember thinking “This is hard – really hard – way harder than than Football or Basketball!” And I got to meet and photograph Principals who were very kind to my endeavors
Deanna Seay Master Class – February 2011
Maria Chapman Kennedy with Mimi Staker – August 2012
Elizabeth Gaither & Class – July 2014
No, this old carcass can’t do what it used to do. Just like the stuff I couldn’t do as a child, before adolescence, teens and adult ages. So we are, I think, on a journey, whether we wish to or not!
3D Jazz Project at Cary Ballet Conservatory – Cary Arts Center, April 2013
There is, in my widower dotage, a blessed quietude and relief from worry. I shopped today for what I had on my list, knowing the budget was okay.
I am blessedly relieved from the incessant noise of oxymoronically “Social Media”. I have no concern or involvement with Door Dash, FaceBook, Uber, TikTok, Amazon Drone Delivery or the really oxymoronically named “Artificial Intelligence”.
I did grow up with and make a living with and from digital technology and yeah, hook up an inference engine to a knowledge data base -you’re still left with what you already know, ya’ know? Just convenient- like a calculator.
So this blessed relief, to borrow a Thomas Hardy title, of being “Far From The Madding Crowd”, is my luxury. I’m good with that.
Mounted prints arrived today – I was sweating bullets (old guy expression) when I opened the box from my printer that I had them right. I did. And was vividly reminded it was more due to experience and hard work than technology.
