Month: October 2025

The Comfort of Late Life

Yesterday, I went to the Early Voting Site at the Herb C Young Community Center in Cary, North Carolina. Same place that Cary Photographic Artists hold their monthly meetings. Thought, Wed., gray and wet, won’t be anyone there. Wrong! Forgot it was one of the Wake County Early Voting Sites!

My Ballot was slim, one Elective Choice for an “At Large Cary Council Member”. Still, it took an hour. Which was not a worry. My time is my time. Met and visited with some folks in line. Told some lame jokes. And Voted. With my Real Photo ID! Didn’t see ICE! I did park in the Garage, got 300 steps in each way plus down 60 and up 60 steps to the top deck.

Before Voting, I stopped at “Paris Baguette” for Croissants with Egg, Cheese and Bacon – Heavenly! But as I’ve learned the hard way, often sold out by 11 AM. Scored 2 of the last 3 – then Voted! Next, stop at Harris Teeter for Gouda Cracker Cuts and BOGO Ben & JERRY Pints!

I’ve no debt, a like new 2005 Chevy W/T needing nothing, good chunk of dough in the bank in CD & HYS ( sold house in 2024 for double paid in 2013), full frig and nothing but routine visits to Dentist & Doc I’ve seen since 1999. And Tax free income and household budget that leaves plenty of wiggle room each month. As Miss Piggy advised, the “Secret to managing money is managing to have enough!” And I do!

Good pile of “To Be Read” books, the luxury of time to plan and cook meals and no demands on my time. Time to dog sit and listen to “NightBird”.

All the Legal stuff is done. Following House Sale and as a Widower, made all new: Will, Power of Attorney and Durable Power of Health Care Attorney. Plus an Advanced Medical Directive for whenever one of my vital parts hits the expiration date. Had a frank and candid discussion with my PCP: palliative care only, no surgeries, chemo or radiation . Just a morphine drip (not keen on suffering) and lemme go.

Left to do and soon, is to prepay my Cremation and execute a Disposition of Remains – which means my ashes go 3+ miles off Hatteras (NC Law) with the ashes of two Labrador Retrievers. We all 3 liked the ocean.

Estate is the stuff in my 1BR Apt that will get tossed into a “Habitat” donation or more likely, a” Junk Doctors” truck (last move cost me $500 to throw away the big stuff). Accounts in my Credit Union, already designated, no probate.

Yep, like the 1MC Announcement & Klaxon

“Now Dive, Dive “ Klaxon

To borrow a lyric from Laura Nyro:

Give me my freedom for as long as I be
All I ask of living is to have no chains on me

All I ask of living is to have no chains on me
And all I ask of dying is to go naturally
Only want to go naturally

Saturated Fat

Journalism Photography was different from my work at Cary Ballet Conservatory. My Press & Fair & Parking Pass to the NC State Fair via Cary Citizen was to tell a story. I never made photographs to laugh at anyone. With, yes. At, no.

So seven years later, I still struggle with this image. The hat says “Navy” which as an ex Submariner, still really bothers me.

2018 North Carolina State Fair – Photographed for Cary Citizen

Aboard USS Andrew Jackson SSBN 619, there was once a a crew member who ate so much during a two month patrol, he could not fit through a hatch to leave the ship. Literally, stuck aboard.

Solution was to: 1. Not feed him for a couple of of days 2. Strip him down to skivvies. 3. Oil him up (don’t remember if it was vegetable or Shell Tellus Hydraulic). 4. Put a few pounds of air pressure in AMR and pop him out out the hatch. He probably had a waistline north of 58″, triple the diameter of a 19″ hatch.

Not humorous. Not at all. Yep, he got out. Before stuck making another Patrol

“Salon des Refusés” – Part Deux

Just like in 1863 Paris, when paintings by Gustave Courbet, Édouard Manet and Camille Pissarro were rejected by the Paris Salon, I again received the same from a Juried Photography Competition, sponsored by a local camera club. So in the tradition of the Salon des Refusés, here are my rejects.

Disclaimer: These prints are on my apartment living room wall and are NFS. It did get me out for the reception to visit and talk story. And flirt!

Circus

Psyche & Eros

iPointe

When You Get To Be Human

By December of of 2012, I’d found my artistic & spiritual home at Cary Ballet Conservatory. Especially in Theater.

Made this image on 12/12/12 at the Cary Arts Center. Didn’t realize she was my “Muse”. Stage Makeup and Street Clothes. Later, home at my desk, after downloading and backing up the photographs I’d made at rehearsal, I stared at this, with my Bourbon & Beer and realized :

  1. I loved it without knowing why.
  2. I had no idea why it looked this way.
  3. I understood nothing about light. Theater was a comfort zone, the lighting was just there. I was completely ignorant of lighting design and the properties of light!

Spent the next summer learning. Found the work of George Hurrell, another Painter turned Photographer. And Yousuf Karsh, whose work changed after he became involved with an actress and discovered theater lighting. And found my Lighting Bible – for free (Pages 135 through 140)!

And I spent the next 10 years trying to get it right. Haunted eBay:

Mole – Richardson Tungsten Fresnels

And found young dancers who were willing to let me try to make their portraits.

‘Cause I Know You By Heart

I don’t remember how or why I found music by Eva Cassidy. Child left this life almost 30 years ago. Her recording of Sting’s “Fields of Gold” aired on BBC2 and launched renewed posthumous interest that echoed back to the US.

Lent my CD recordings to a music teacher/neighbor/dog rescuer/ informally adopted grand daughter whose pace and demands of young adult modern life makes me glad I’m old and out to pasture.

So having time to graze in Senior Sunshine, I ordered replacements from my favorite Book/CD store “GoodwillBooks.com“. This reached my mailbox a few days ago:

Turns out my 75 year old tear ducts still work. And I was thinking about having the privilege and trust of teachers and parents and children for a dozen years of work as a photographer at Cary Ballet Conservatory. And my sweetheart who is “still here beside me every day, ’cause I know you by heart“.

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You left in autumn
The leaves were turning
I walked down roads of orange and gold
I saw your sweet smile
I heard your laughter
You’re still here beside me every day
‘Cause I know you by heart

More, later 😉

Bonds

The North Carolina State Fair, besides rides and crazy foods (delicious fun), is essentially about farming. A hard, uncertain life. My Fair & Press Credential permitted access to the barns behind the Show Rings. I was careful to be respectful. Click images for full size.

2015 North Carolina State Fair – Photographed for Cary Citizen

Today’s Opening Day Fair News!

Not News: “Traffic worries driving some crazy as NC State Fair begins – WRAL”

2012 North Carolina State Fair

This is news: “Food Vendors not returning to the NC State Fair – Raleigh N&O”.

2014 North Carolina State Fair

Photographed for Cary Citizen

Walk Along A Country Road -Redux

Some memories, persist. Maybe due to Sunday quiet. Or old age. Or both.

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In this Sunday memory, Departmental Road 9, Belleau, Departement de l’Aisne (France), FR. It was a Monday in Sept. of 2017, 99 years after War.

The local American / French Museum was closed, so we walked along farm roads in gorgeous late September sunshine and quiet, to our destination.

You can get there easily from Paris, by Metro to Gare de l’Est, then express train to Château-Thierry and local taxi to Belleau. And can walk the battlefield in silence. Click images for full size.

“The Americans”

After two side trips, wandering about my local Barnes&Nobles bookstore and handling, twice, a plastic wrapped copy of “The Americans” by Robert Frank, I went home and discovered the Wake County Library didn’t have it. So I surfed my favorite book store, Goodwill Books . Us down sized Widowers know what old folks get rid of!

Found a copy near me, in Gastonia, North Carolina. Ordered and it arrived today. It is, extraordinary. And highly recommended.